A space to process trauma and start taking care of yourself again.
Virtual EMDR Therapy for perfectionism, people pleasing, pregnancy and postpartum, and new parents
Meet Emily
Emily Feldt Shabel is a dedicated and experienced associate marriage and family therapist who offers virtual EMDR and talk therapy throughout the state of California.
Emily is committed to delivering compassionate, personalized, and professional therapy to couples, adult individuals, and teens who are navigating a broad range of mental health challenges including:
perfectionism
people pleasing
overthinking
anxiety
pregnancy and postpartum concerns
adjustments to new parenthood
depression
trauma
How can EMDR help with people pleasing and perfectionism?
EMDR therapy targets the origins of perfectionism and people-pleasing by reprocessing early memories that taught you mistakes are dangerous or that others’ approval equals safety. Through gentle bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, or auditory pulses), EMDR calms the nervous system’s fight-or-flight response to criticism, error, or rejection and weakens rigid, shame-based beliefs like “I must be perfect” or “I have to keep others happy to be safe.”
Benefits of EMDR for perfectionism and people-pleasing:
Reduces anxiety, rumination, and fear around making mistakes
Changes self-critical core beliefs into compassionate alternatives such as “I’m enough as I am”
Lowers avoidance and people-pleasing behaviors, improving boundaries and authenticity
Regulates emotional reactivity so you can tolerate constructive feedback and uncertainty
Works efficiently by processing underlying memories rather than only teaching coping skills
What to expect in EMDR sessions:
Safe, nonshaming environment with grounding and stabilization work first
Identification of target memories and the beliefs they formed (e.g., “If I fail, I’m unsafe”)
Gentle bilateral stimulation while reprocessing those memories until distress decreases
Integration of kinder, realistic beliefs and body-based regulation skills
If perfectionism or people-pleasing limits your relationships, career, or peace of mind, EMDR offers a targeted way to address the root cause and reshape how you respond to your world. I provide somatic and attachment-focused EMDR for people-pleasers, perfectionists, and overthinkers across California via telehealth.
Becoming a parent is a major life transition. Along with joy, many people face stress, exhaustion, self-doubt, and intense emotions. New parents and partners commonly struggle with adjustment after pregnancy, childbirth, and in early parenting.
EMDR is effective beyond trauma treatment. For pregnant and postpartum clients it can:
Process birth-related fears or traumatic birth experiences so they interfere less with daily care and bonding
Reduce excessive worry and catastrophizing that drain energy and confidence
Calm hypervigilance and sleep-disrupting anxiety to support better rest
Integrate mixed or complicated feelings about parenthood to increase presence and emotional availability
Address somatic responses (body sensations) tied to pregnancy, labor, or early parenting to reduce physical reactivity
Benefits you might notice:
Less anxiety and intrusive memories
Improved emotional regulation and sleep
Greater self-trust and confidence in caregiving
Increased capacity to enjoy and bond with your baby
If you’re feeling overwhelmed after pregnancy or childbirth, EMDR can help you move toward more ease and presence as a parent. Contact me to discuss whether this approach is right for you.
How can EMDR help pregnant women and new parents?
Book Your Free Therapy Consultation
In this 15 minute conversation you can get a feel for what it would be like to work with me. I will share more details about my approach and answer any questions you may have. I can typically schedule a call within 24-48 hours after you reach out so you can start receiving support right away.